God has a sick sense of humor

What a turn of events!

I was reading over my last post. I write kinda good. I was rather impressed. I've always wanted to be a novelist- the writer extraordinaire. I wrote a book once, Ja and I did. Well, Ja did a couple of pages but she helped me think up a lot of it. A Taste of Everything- romance novel by Mish and Ja. We tried to get it published but the publishing company was triffling apparently. Not legit. That's life.

It's been a few days. I still haven't heard from Kitty. A heavy dust warning came in, I texted him to be safe driving, he replied "K." Now that's communication gone wild.

But that's not where my mind was....

Today is Tuesday. I texted Kitty Sunday night saying "Nite nite miss u." First time that he never responded. But he had his kids. I'm sure he was busy, maybe in the shower, possibly fell asleep. I went to bed and asked God to give me a sign if Kitty was the one. Nothing fancy or extravagent. I went to bed thinking I would have a missed call or message. I was right...

...But it wasn't from him.

Who in the world would call me at 2 in the morning? According to the text it was 2:19 am. "Sorry to call so late." I had a clue, yet it had been months since I last heard from him. Couldn't be. Much less would he leave a text after the missed call.

I saw it when I woke to get the kids up for school. The usual "Who's this?" But it was too early so a few hours later I texted again "Hello?"

U want what? Naked pics? Who the hell was this? I didn't recognize the number. Call me Daddy followed by what my name is? Mama. Dude wanted to play that game. I can play too. Come with it.

Freaking Buddha, man. Ready to have me drive to Cali to hurt someone. I knew it was him as much as my head tried to deny it. Was this the sign I so requested from God? Next time I'll be more specific. God tends to have a sick sense of humor when you ask something so vague from Him. I meant is KITTY the one I was meant to be with. Maybe the answer would have been the same. If anything, God is consistent.

It took me two years to get over Buddha; another two of a peaceful life without him. I found him on Facebook back in November. Just looking. Had been dreaming about him but in my dreams I didn't know it was him. Strange. He has this pic on his profile- a Halloween pic- that just drives me up the wall. He sent it to me during this goofy who-is-this convo. Anyways...

Instead of leaving his page I clicked Request Friend. Oops. But he doesn't do the computer thing so no big deal. Undo and all's well with the world. Less than a minute, he accepted. Nice.

Took a few hours. Say hi? Thanks for the add? What's up? Delete friend? Short message. Hope all is well and yada yada, something like that. He gave me his number. I gave him mine. He called.

That lasted a couple of months. I knew he'd disappear eventually, change his number, the usual. Last time we talked, few days after New Year's, he said he was moving with some girl. Don't call or text. No prob.

We had a heart-to-heart last night. I wanted or rather needed to know why he does this- gets in contact with me than runs off. What do you want, dude? But I had been thinking of him for days now, just out of nowhere. Didn't have quite the conversation I rehearsed for.

"I think I could be happy with you." A tear fell. I knew I felt the same. Couldn't deny it to myself anymore. We talked about taking it slow this time, see if it'll work. I'm ready. I need love and he is the only man I have ever truly loved. I'm scared he'll disappear. Confusion's a bitch, ain't it?

What about Kitty? Still no word, not even a good morning. He'll call, probably when he's horny. It must just be a sex thing so that's just how I'm gonna treat it.

I love you, Buddha. I always have. But I gotta be neutral about this. If you go, fly out. If you stay, I will always treasure you. Got a few more months til I'm in the area. I plan to kick it with Kitty again. Got needs too. But as you so lovingly stated, I won't put all my eggs in one basket (my cousin said the same words when I told her. Freaky). My heart is with you, my body with him, and world continues to spin. Que sera sera...

Forth Rule of Fight Club: Love no one!